Same-sex marriage
Comment by a member of Orange County Friends Meeting
Allan Abrahamse
In 1996 Orange County Friends Meeting affirmed its willingness to marry any couple, regardless of the sex of the partners involved. Many other unprogrammed meetings have done the same. Probably no programmed Friends Church has done so.
It must be kept in mind, however, that Friends take the marriage of any couple very seriously, and would almost always require that at least one member of the uniting couple be in some way a well-known participant in the life of the Meeting. This fact holds regardless of the sex of the partners.
And while in California, and probably most states, marriage under the care of a Friends meeting can be recognized as an appropriate solemnization of the civil act of marriage, the Meeting has no ability to compel the State to recognize a marriage. It is almost certain that the solemnization of a same-sex marriage by a Friends meeting would not lead to such recognition where it is not regarded as legal.
Since Quakers regard marriage as a religious institution, "the work of the Lord only," civil recognition as an end in itself is of no particular concern. On the other hand, the fact that solemnizing a same-sex marriage might itself be an illegal act would probably carry no weight in a Meeting's decision whether or not to do so.